Seriously, though. Today C and I started talking about Christmas and he seems to not be taking it very well. It started out with a confusion about the need for decorating, progressed to a very incredulous "I have to buy you gifts?!?!", and ended with a flat-out refusal to participate in any "stocking nonsense." Hahahaha.
To be fair, he's not a big selfish jerkhead but he comes from one of those weird families that doesn't really do much for birthdays/holidays and I am a spoiled brat only child. It was pretty much inevitable that this would happen. He keeps telling me that he's never bought a gift for anyone, ever. I believe him, since it seems more like performance anxiety than actual scrooginess.
The funny thing is that I've been really slack on Christmas ever since I moved. I just... haven't bothered much about it at all. But this year feels diffferent since we're a little family and I really want to observe as many of the traditions as I can. I've decided to take it as something of a challenge and do everything I can to make him try to give a shit. Still not holding out a lot of hope for this year since it's his first. Don't worry, though, I'll be gentle.
I realize that I haven't posted here for a long time, but I swear I'm not dead. Not even a little bit. In fact, I'm a student now so I actually use LiveJournal more than ever - papers to write, things to read and, you know, time doesn't just waste itself!
Anyway, it's been such a long long time and there have been a few really and for real actual changes 'round these parts so I guess I ought to finally tell you* about them.
First things first, there's a boy. Not just "a" boy. We're basically married and I am so incredibly crazy about him. It's... sort of hard for me to talk about, really. I go back and forth between wanting to keep him entirely secret and wanting to shout from the rooftops. I think this is because of how much of a gap there is between the facts and the feelings. The facts are that we haven't been dating that long and things were sorta rough at first. We also don't appear to share many interests or have the same taste in, well, basically anything. Those are facts. But the facts are also that we are together constantly, we have done things together and done nothings together and we can't be apart for an hour without getting phantom limb syndrome. My favorite activities these days are cooking dinner with him, brushing our teeth together, and pouncing on him to wake him up at precisely 10:00 in the morning, every morning. I'm serious. That's all it takes to make me happy, but it takes every single ounce of that. He won't be able to meet my family until we go to the States together in June, but we've decided to slip away somewhere and sign some papers by next fall. So, first things first: the rest of my life has already started and my mind is still reeling from how good it is.
Let's see... what else? I stopped working and went back to school to get my Masters. I'm going to a very nice, ridiculously expensive private university here in Istanbul and I'm studying cultural studies. Overall, I've been really happy with the program but I have been reminded of what a terrible fucking student I am which is, frankly, not much fun at all. The classes are interesting and the professors are great but I think I have yet to show up for any lecture having actually read all of the material assigned for the week. (NB: Yes, I realize that this is the way most people experience grad school, but I'm also aware that I am better than most people and must therefore be held to a more rigourous academic standard. Except, clearly, I am a miserable failure and I should just get Zen with the fact that I'm not better than any other two-bit hack of a grad school. Boo.)
Other than that, the only thing worth mentioning is the fact that I am probably not long for this earth. Last week I was laid low by the old sinus infection/tonsillitis 1-2 punch and just as I was getting over that, some incredible badness happened in my mouth. The mister is taking me to the dentist tomorrow but I fully expect him to say that the wisdom teeth are too deeply entrenched and that there's nothing to be done at this point other than to just take me out back and put me out of my misery, farm-style.
I... have nothing left to add except a pretty picture to reward any of you* who managed to read through this far.
* At this point, I'm pretty sure there's no "you" left but old habits die hard.
I just rented a new apartment. It's ridiculously close to my current (old?) apartment and I keep not packing because it's so close that I'm just like "Pff, forget it, I'll just take my stuff over in suitcases" which would be a fine idea if I was inclined to actually get off my ass and take my stuff over to the new place. But apparently I'm not. I'm supposed to be totally relocated in the next week to ten days. WE'LL SEE HOW THAT GOES!
I have been going to the gym for the past couple of weeks because I'm totally inactive these days and it's making me crazy. Of course, it would also be awesome if I lost some weight, but I'm really not the type to stare at the calorie reader on the machines. When I'm teaching I usually stay pretty active but during the summer I just give private lessons and do bullshit office work, so I'm pretty much a slug. Last week my trainer wanted to check my "progress" because apparently THAT'S what trainers do. The scale hadn't changed so she zapped me with the body composition thing. And promptly proceeded to flip the fuck out. Apparently 2% of my body mass had changed to muscle in two weeks. And apparently that's very fast and very good. (I am using a lot of "apparently" here because I actually have no idea what any of this means. I did, however, find it amusing that this tiny Turkish woman who probably weighs half what I do now stares at me like I am some awesome muscle-building freak.)
And, in infinitely less healthy news, today is rainy and cold and all my friends are out of town and I want nothing more than to bake surprise cupcakes and watch hours and hours of Law and Order: SVU with my best girl. But these days my girl don't eat cupcakes and L&O:SVU doesn't stream online. LIFE IS TERRIBLE.
Oh, wait. I don't want to end another post yelling about how terrible life is, so let me finish my triumphantly announcing that I am a mere 28 days away from flying out of Istanbul to spend two weeks in Barcelona and Munih with the motherfigure.
9:14pm: On my mind of late
* At the Bob Dylan concert, prior to Mr. Dude actually coming out, they played a recording of someone reading On The Road. It was a pretty terrible reading. After about 20 minutes of that they started playing 50 Cent's magnum opus, "In Da Club." But they didn't bother to turn the reading track off, so they were both going at once. "In Da Club On The Road." HAIL, MOTHERLAND.
* My mom's cat died on Friday. He pretty much just... went spontaneously paralyzed and started screaming. The vet said he was in massive amounts of pain so my mom decided to have him put to sleep. He hadn't been ill at all and from the first cat-scream to the time when she left the vet's office with an empty carrier, only an hour passed. She's pretty upset and I wish there was something I could do for her. Also, this whole story terrifies me.
* I found out about this Taman Shud murder mystery and I can't stop thinking about it. Really. Can't stop. I guess it turns out that I like clever solutions far more than I actually like puzzling mysteries. Hmm.
9:48pm: Waste a few minutes, hours, lifetimes, why don't you?
On 2 May 2010 the New York Times started a project called "One Moment in Time." They asked readers to take one photograph at their location at 15:00 UTC. Now, they've plotted them all on a map of the earth. I'll give you a link but I won't be responsible for the amount of time you're about to lose.
8:16pm: in absentia / memento mori
I stumbled across a poem the other day from a book of slam poetry called "I Sing The Body Authentic" and when I read it, it was Kirk Lawrence reading it to me. He didn't write it, of course, but it's so Lawrencesque that I couldn't stop myself from posting it here.
THICK by Sonya Renee
I am THICK Like your Aunt Sarah's pound cake Sweet, sweet, lip smacking sweet Filled with sooo many enticing ingredients that You never bother to ask about Given that you only want to eat SLOW DOWN BABY Check the recipe You might be allergic to the eggs, vanilla, flour, Charisma, abstract eccentricity, power And I don't want you to get sick
I was taking a lot of pictures today with the aim of doing A Day In My Life/Document a Day project, but around the middle of the day everything went downhill so fucking fast that I'm still not sure exactly what happened.
10:44pm: We have our looks and perfume on
I realized earlier that I've never posted any pictures of my neighborhood. It's a peninsula that is incredible 8 months a year. Unfortunately, this isn't one of them, so I've stolen all these pictures from Google until the weather is nicer and I can take some myself. At any rate...Moda'ya hoş geldin! (Welcome to Moda!)
Since it's surrounded by water, it's a great place to walk around when the weather's warm. Loads of people sailing and trying to windsurf and a surprising amount of green to be located in the middle of a giant city.
But, I have to admit, it's got a kind of charm in the winter, too.
Plus, you have to love a residential neighborhood that still has a nostalgic tramway!
12:03am: A thousand boos.
I cannot even begin to tell you how annoyed I am about Haiti's decision to release the suspected kidnappers. I know no one's even vaguely surprised about the verdict. Hell, I don't even think that most of them were intentionally breaking the law - but that doesn't mean they weren't!
When you're in another country you are subject to the laws of that country. (Didn't we have this discussion about a thousand years ago, Michael P. Fay?) Just because you didn't know something was illegal doesn't make it any less illegal.
I hate when people blanket ignorance in the unassailable cloak of religion. Jesus didn't talk to you, you're just a bunch of racist assholes who assumed that Haitian children would be better off with you than with their own families.
Wackjob religious centrism and First World entitlement: please go die.
12:13am: Date up, Udate!
Had a pretty hideous week, both in terms of work and getting things accomplished. One more terribly-busy week left of the semester, then I plan to take full advantage of some fine-quality ass-sitting time. I mean... "productivity."
I decided not to start too big on this one -- not to start trying to do everything at once and getting burned out within a month. So, modest progress to report for the week but I'm pretty happy with it.
In other news, all of my reservations are made and paid for my trip to Morocco next month. I'm really excited... a proper holiday! Woohoo! There's a bit of confusion about whether or not Bora and I will be able to stay in the hotel together, though, since we're not married. We'll see, I guess.
Fingers crossed for me to finally have a vacation that's not hideously ruined!
5:26pm: Yep! I'm gonna be one of Those!
Northwestern Florida, circa 1994. Picture it. A round-faced girl joins Girl Scouts in order to stay busy over the summer. As soon as she receives a copy of the badge catalog the two are inseparable. A few months and many, many badges later, the Troop Leader schedules a meeting with the girl's mother, complaining about the speed with which the girl has been racking up badges.
Friends, that little girl ... was me.
It's a true story and one I hope might help you to understand why I'm so excited about Project101, the attempt to complete, do, or experience 101 (personally-defined, meaningful) things in 1001 days. True, it was LiveJournal's recent promotion of a community that sorta got me. But in general, it could hardly be said that I was a tough sell. Blame it on my lifelong affinity for list-making, accomplishing, and doing something instead of nothing.
I plan to keep it to a minimum in this journal, only updating once a week, but I'm pretty excited about it. I just finished my list today so, conveniently enough, I'll be starting tomorrow. I sort of wish someone was doing it with me - I mean, someone other than a 15 year old LiveJournaler who includes items like "kiss a boy." Anyone else inclined?
3:19pm: happiness, wherever it comes from
Yesterday when classes finished and the teachers were all in the office, I had a snack. I was leaning over the wastebasket, having a piece of fruit when my friend Dilara looked at me and said, "I think you should always be eating oranges. Like, constantly. It really suits you."
"Yeah. Something about the way you eat oranges makes me want to eat oranges. It just seems right, the two of you look perfect together."
And that, friends, was the nicest thing anyone has said to me in a long time.
5:17pm: This. Again.
I'm reading a very nice book right now (The Book of Disquiet) and I keep running across little parts that I'd like to read aloud to someone, but I don't know anyone that would care.
That's pretty much the only time in my life when I remember that I have a LiveJournal, so...
10:05pm: In which I ask for a favor...
I'm going though a want-to-listen-to-good-new-music phase, and since I don't have cable and youtube is blocked in this country, I don't really know where to start.
Jawad made me a great CD when I was back in the States, but I'm going to burn a hole in it if I don't give it a break soon.
Anybody want to send me good music? There are a few specific things that I'd like (Yeah Yeah Yeah's It's Blitz!, everything by [those rabbit-killing bastards] Sons and Daughters, Mountain Goat's Heretic Pride, Neko Case's Middle Cyclone, The Notwist's "Consequences") but I also just want recommendations about things I don't know I like (Who is this Grizzy Bear? What about The Antlers? Do I give a shit about Lady GaGa?)
Seriously. It's so hard for me to stay even slightly hip over here. Even as I type this, I'm listening to a band cover "Blah, Blah, Blah" at a bar. IN TWO THOUSAND AND NINE.
If you email me mp3s, I will love you forever. You know my email address. It's lindsey[dot]the[dot]frenzy[at]gmail. Please? Halp?
A Very Frenzy Birthday A busy day, to be sure, but I won't bother telling you about all the details. I worked a ton, but I also managed to find a little time to visit my Turkish "grandfather," help a surprisingly large number of tourists, revel in things I love, and be on the receiving end of a classroom surprise party.
Many, many thanks to the people who sent me happy birthday wishes. I'm going to deliberately not get all sappy and sentimental here and I'm going to share with you three things that make me happy, on my birthday or on just any ol' Tuesday.
I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, that I missed the point of this pageantry But I'm grateful that you ( love meCollapse )
Alright. Enough. I'm going to go eat some irmik helvası and read Calvino before bed. (A pretty good start to a 25th year.)
Who: Yours Truly and you, truly! When: Monday 17 August - Wednesday 26 August Where: Washington D.C., Virginia, Maryland, and possibly the Mutter Museum c/o MOTHFERUCKING AMERICA, LAND OF THE FREE HOME OF THE BRAVE
I would like to see as many people as possible, although I realize it's last-minute and not in anyone's neighborhood, exactly. My new university wants me to get a fresh visa from the embassy, so they're paying to send me back. At this point I no longer feel that Turkey is an indefinite option. I'll be spending my time seeing museums, licking Target stores, crunching numbers, and feeling out possible re-patriatioin cities for 2010/2011. Also there might be a wee birthday party. Please let me know if you are any kind of available!